Pathetic Teenager

Two posts in one day. Woohoo. Can’t believe!

But really, the dark moments can make you do crazy stuff. For example, talking to your (ex?) boyfriend, but not in dialogue way. I thought I was talking to myself and soon he gave me the answer  that I wasn’t looking for – “leave me alone”.

I know that he needs some space after the shocking thing that I have said, when I was WASTED, but I can’t deal with him being mad at me. I don’t know what got into me that night. How could I call him another boy’s name?! For the first time in my life I know how I feel about anyone. I know that I only want my boyfriend, but I can’t forgive myself this fact. Do I have feelings towards the other guy??? No! That can’t be it! The reality is that my boyfriend is mad at me and I can’t make him talk to me or see me in order to explain everything. Also, I need to know the whole night! Why was my cigarette pack in the bin? How did I fall asleep? Or what he did do after the shameful “accident”?

It’s been two days and I can’t think about anything else. I can’t even eat. What do I do? I’ll give you an answer – I’m in the bed, “watching” TV shows and I smoke too much.

Do I sound pathetic? Yeah, I know I do, so, don’t tell me otherwise.

The only thing that I can do is wait for the time to pass and then talk to him. Maybe a week? But I don’t want him to think too much.

26 thoughts on “Pathetic Teenager

  1. I know its silly to say this but I know how you feel coz that happened to me and like you said give him time also do the 5:2 diet for the heart/soul. For 5 days keep busy (Not only tv), plan your days and be proactive then for 2 days do what your heart tells you and it works wonders (well has done and still does for me).

  2. Things like this happen, but you gotta calm down, figure things out, and go for what you want. You can’t wait for him forever. 🙂 Hope everything works out.

  3. Blackouts are not good…I think everyone is right that he’ll come around because it happens to everyone, but I also think less alcohol isn’t a bad idea if you tend to blackout when you drink…:)

  4. You’re right, giving him space is important but it is so hard to do! Definitely make yourself busy and pamper yourself so that when he is ready to talk to you you aren’t begging him, but talking to him as if you two are on the same playing field.

    • I agree with you. That’s what I am going to do, but it is hard since I am “dominant-type”. Sometimes I act like I am a boy and scare them away.

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