Too Much Space for HIM

I have already written that I don’t like serious relationships. I’m not good at it and I usually get scared. But these don’t mean that I don’t want to share anything with a man I’m with.

I’m a good listener and I adore talking to my special person. I ask questions and I love listening to the answers, not because I’m a control freak. I just want to share everything with that person.

It’s hard to be waiting for an approval to talk to your special person or see him.

It’s hard not to have ability to talk to him, when you actually need him.

It’s hard to be shut down, when you say “we have to talk”, despite the fact that it is too painful for you. You tell that too and he shuts you down again and again and again…

I needed that talk, I had to speak up about my feelings for once in my life and he shut me up. I’m pissed off. I can’t take this anymore. I did this for months now and what do I get. Not even a 5 minute talk. I made a mistake, when I thought that it would have been a lifetime mistake to break up with him and gave him his space, which was too big, but still I couldn’t get there.

That’s fine. Everything’s fine. I took this once, I can take this now too.

And for reading this, I have to share my favourite song with you ^_^


Thank You/მადლობა

“God gave you a gift of 84,600 seconds today. Have you used one of them to say thank you?”  -William Arthur Ward

I always say thank you to people that do anything for me, doesn’t matter if I pay them or not. I mean, I say thank you to bus driver who gives me change, a taxi driver, seller and etc. That’s how I was raised. I say thank you whenever my grandma makes me a cup of coffee or something to eat.

Today I’m mad at my ex-friend. Whenever she asks me something, I try to do it, despite the fact that she is the reason why we aren’t friends now.

Is it hard to say thank you when someone translates whole article for you?

Is it hard to say thank you when someone writes an article for your finals?

Is it hard to say thank you when someone gives you skis?

I don’t think so. I mean, you are the one who makes fun of me behind my back and I am the one who still loves you as a person. Why wouldn’t you do the least that you can do?

Maybe I’m overreacting, but it is hard for me to overcome the anger. Maybe this is because of our history as a friends.

I know that everyone is raised differently, but we should all know the basic manners like saying thank you,when a person does a good thing for you.

Dream a Little Dream of Me

I’m a little vulnerable when it comes to my dreams. They usually come to life or just make me see things differently.

I remember a horrible dream from childhood. I was only 6 and saw how my father died by strange people with black hoodies. I remember how I felt when I woke up and searched for my father all over the house. Luckily, he was well and sleeping.

That’s funny, but I have been watching Supernatural for years and never liked Sam, until he was in my dream. Now I like him as a character in a TV show and I don’t regret my opinion. 😀

Today I dreamt about a boy, who is kinda my friend and it was weird seeing him as a sexy young man. I have never looked at him that way, especially now, when I’m in a relationship with someone else. I’m thinking about him since this morning and can’t forget my dream. And he isn’t even in Georgia.

I’m just blabbing now, but dreams tend to be important for me. As I wrote in the first paragraph, my views change when I see a dream. Maybe I thought about him secretly and blocked it in my mind and that’s why he was in my dreams.

I understand now where a little flirting can get us – in the weird dreams, where you are not with your boyfriend, but with another “friend”.